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I have no right to feel this way

Updated: Nov 15, 2021

One of the most common struggles of women transitioning to motherhood is not giving themselves permission to actually feel what they feel, when it comes to "negative" emotions.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


This tendency can find it's source to a variety of underlying reasons. For example, the arrival of a baby is such a joyful event, that it is a cultural expectation for moms to feel happy. It can also be personal expectations. When you are waiting for this baby for so long and it's finally here, you may expect to have this perfect experience. No women ever expects to feel sad after giving birth; it always comes as a surprise. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


There is a polarity in motherhood that we don't always understand or expect. You can feel happy and sad, found and lost, you may want to finally have a moment to yourself and get out of the house, only to think about your baby while you're away. It is challenging to understand and process such a polarity in emotions, especially when it's a new experience with your first baby. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


Plus the tendency to separate feelings into "good" and "bad" doesn't help in dealing with this polarity. Feelings are just feelings. They are data, trying to give us information. There is nothing inherently wrong with feelings, whether they are challenging or not.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


Another reason that makes women block their emotions is the thought that "I am healthy, my baby is healthy, I have my partner, a home, financial stability, I have NO RIGHT to feel this way". ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


It's crucial to accept that yes, you may have "everything you need", but you still have the right to feel what you feel. It's OK, not to be OK. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


Give permission to yourself to feel ALL of it and it will set you free 🎈

Contact me if you'd like to find out more, or if you feel you need support in this area.

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Harilaos Bournous
Harilaos Bournous
Jan 08, 2021

Your website is really fresh and genuine. I very much liked your therapy vs coaching article. Keep up the good work!

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